There was a time in the past when TheKnish.com did not have so many writers. It was decided by the editors that they would adopt a baby boy and raise him in a Knishy environment in the hopes of his one day becoming a prolific TheKnish.com author. They named this boy David Friedman. "David" was chosen after a TheKnish.com editor's favorite statue, while "Friedman" was chosen as a cruel joke since most of David's life has been spent locked in TheKnish.com's basement office. Once in a while David was taken around the various Jewish neighborhoods in New York to get inspiration for articles. This stopped after his infamous escape attempt in Monsey.
Upon reaching adulthood, David started producing funny articles. TheKnish.com's editors were overjoyed and decided that in order to guarantee the continued existence of TheKnish.com through future generations they would need to breed David to make funny babies. David's wife is not amused.
Articles by David Friedman:
- Cabinet Member: Dismissal "No Fair, Telling My Mommy" (Issue 13)
- Hocker Gets Honest-to-Goodness J-O-B (Issue 13)
- ACLU Holds Conference on Sheitel Head Rights (Issue 14)
- Shtiebel Unveils Plans to Replace Mechitzah with Security Wall (Issue 15)
- New Tzedakah to Attract Gullible People (Issue 17)
- United Nations Blames Jews for Tsunami (Issue 17)
- PETA Exposes New Undercover Video (Issue 18)
- This Year's Kosher Circus Even Frummer (Issue 20)
- Gedolim Mull Making Shavuot Earlier (Issue 21)
- Rabbis Issue Hot Air (Guidelines) (Issue 24)
- Segulah Combat Unit Formed (Issue 26)
- El Al Hires Hocker Mashgiach Under Rabbinic Pressure (Issue 27)
- New Pesach Hotel Package Introduces Separate Rooming (Issue 27)
- "Baruch Hashem" Usage at Epidemic Levels, Baruch Hashem (Issue 28)
- 60,000 LED Menorahs Recalled (Issue 28)
- Tzedakah Guarantees Real Aniyim to Contributors, or Else (Issue 29)
- Laining Fatality Rate Totally Unacceptable to Local Shul (Issue 31)
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Deep Quote"There are no stupid shaylos, just stupid talmidim." --The RaCHMaL
Did You Know?No one has ever successfully lit an oil menorah without dripping wax into the oil.