Issue 7

Baked December 1, 2003

Hot Stories

"Chanukwanzaamasadan" Created to Alleviate Holiday Confusion

In response to the confusion created by too many religious and cultural holidays occurring at the same time, a combination festival has been created to guide the perplexed. […] Full Story

Movie Review: "Lubavinator 3: Rise of The Lubavitchers"

I was very impressed with the latest installment of the "Lubavinator" series. A powerful being that is part Lubavitcher Chasid and part Mitzvah Tank is sent back from the future to prevent a quart of cholov yisroel milk from spoiling. […] Full Story

"They" Are Finally Revealed

In a stunning development, "They" have finally been revealed. As the source of incredible amounts of information, sometimes true and sometimes not, "They" are considered the experts in almost all fields. […] Full Story

Report: Dieting a Segulah to Lose Weight

A startling discovery was made in the dunes of the Sinai Desert last Thursday, on par with the amazing discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls. […] Full Story

"We Stare at You Because We Love You" Ruled Out as Boro Park Slogan

When Councilman Simcha Felder called for people to "Shreib a Shlogan for Shnorer Park," more than 20,000 potential new city slogans flooded into the Boro Park Tourism Office. […] Full Story

"Angry Chicken" Disease Peril to Chicken Soup Industry

The first suspected case of angry chicken disease in the United States was reported Tuesday and threatens to devastate the country's $98 billion chicken soup industry. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic "Law & Order: Jelly Donut Division" Debuts in Israel
  • captioned pic Shteigonauts Take Off for Mir Yeshiva Space Station
  • captioned pic Kollel Father Shops For His 37 Kids

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