Issue 4

Baked September 1, 2003

Hot Stories

Taikonaut Finally Arrives With Chinese Food

Takeout deliveryman Yang Liwei has finally arrived at the International Space Station. The spacecraft, Shenzhou 5, a decade in the making, roared into the sky from the Gobi Desert at 9 a.m. Tuesday -- 9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time -- and returned safely to the grassland of Inner Mongolia. […] Full Story

Flatbush Gets Drunk on Simchas Torah, Finds Self in Queens

Citing numerous sources, it was reported that on Simchas Torah, Flatbush got drunk and woke up in the middle of Queens. […] Full Story

Allegation: Jewish Press Too Jewish

In a controversy that is bound to reverberate throughout the Jewish community, The Associated Knish published a scathing article on The Jewish Press. In it, the author, Tzvi Mendelbaum, accused The Jewish Press of being too Jewish. […] Full Story

Anti _______ League Forms With No Purpose

The Anti _______ League has been formed by a core staff of twelve organizers, who have gathered over 1,400 Jews to protest um, various things. […] Full Story

Smurfette's Engagement Creates Shidduch Crisis

The little Smurf village is overcome with joy and sadness, a result of good news and bad news. The good news is that Smurfette is finally engaged. […] Full Story

TheKnish.com Hires Imaginary Staff

In order to pass themselves off as a burgeoning enterprise, the founders of TheKnish.com have hired three more imaginary staff members. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic Man Learns Torah While Standing on One Foot
  • captioned pic Baby is so cute you could just eat him up and cook him with the chicken soup and eat his little legs up he's so cute I wanna eat him, YOY!

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Deep Quote

"I thought I heard that Moshe was eating pizza, but I'm not mekabel." --Rabbi Sholom Gold, Menahel, Torah V'Yirah HS

Weather Forecast

weather Mamesh kalt!

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Bush II Do you like satire? Do you like the Bible? Do you like politics? Do you like them all together at the same time? Now, for the first time ever, you can kill all three birds with one stone. Bush II, Book I is the King James Version of the first term of George W. Bush. Buy it and multitask like never before.