Issue 27

Baked April 1, 2007

Hot Stories

Britney Spears Increases Commitment to Satmar

Britney Spears has further displayed evidence of her loyalty and commitment to Hasidic Judaism by completely shaving her entire head in preparation for a bishow with the top yeshiva bochur in Ozer Dadim. […] Full Story

El Al Hires Hocker Mashgiach Under Rabbinic Pressure

In an effort not to waste their stockpile of mehadrin meals due to a boycott by the mehadrin meal eating people, El Al has agreed to hire a mashgiach to make sure that planes do not fly on Shabbos. […] Full Story

New Pesach Hotel Package Introduces Separate Rooming

Just in time for the next rabbinic ban season, Frummerthanthou tours has once again shown itself to be the leader in Chumradik innovations. […] Full Story

Scientists Say Plutovich No Longer a Chasidus

Just months after a conference where astronomers determined that the ninth rock from the sun was no longer a planet, the Association of Orthodox Jewish Scientists announced at the Bobover Planetarium that Plutovichers were no longer chasidim. […] Full Story

British Officials Bust Man Davening B'Yichidus

British Airways flight one-twenty-one was forced to make an emergency landing when police received several calls after takeoff about a man racing briskly toward the back of the plane and mumbling to himself. […] Full Story

Eleven Sephardic Teens Missing from Deal

Immigration agents and the FBI are looking for eleven Sephardic teens from Brooklyn and Great Neck, NY who failed to show up to Deal, NJ for summer vacation, authorities said. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic Punk Kiruv Program Successful for 1 in 3 Haredi Youths
  • captioned pic Jersey Family Takes Leisheiv Way Too Seriously
  • captioned pic Israeli Police get Jacked (Up)

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Deep Quote

"If you don't bren now, you'll bren later." --Your 9th grade Rebbe

Did You Know?

An comprehensive study in 1973 conclusively proved that exercise is goyish.

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