Issue 26

Baked July 1, 2006

Hot Stories

Stampede Kills Twelve At Annual Religious Gathering

Twelve people were killed on Thursday in a stampede at the annual membership dinner of Congregation Knessess Yisroel of Woodmere. The victims were trampled as large numbers of attendees surged towards the sushi table. […] Full Story

Rabbis Forbid the Name "Suri"

Rabbis in Brooklyn, New York recently declared the name "Suri" to be banned from all Jewish baby-naming ceremonies in the New York Metropolitan area. Upon the completion of the Passover holiday, rabbis in Brooklyn discovered through anonymous sources ("refrigerators" and "air conditioners") that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes named their baby girl Suri. Local rabbis immediately banned the name from future daughters of Israel (and Brooklyn). […] Full Story

Synagogue Rabbi’s Approval Rating Sinks To 29 Percent

Approval for Rabbi Yehoshua Broncowitz of Congregation Bais Yisaschar in New Hempstead sunk to a new low of 29 percent this week according to the findings of a new poll released by the Congregation’s Sisterhood. The poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 45 percent. […] Full Story

Moses Cartoons Incite Indifference

Hellbent on capitalizing on the fervor generated by the 12 Danish cartoons satirizing the prophet Mohammed, an Islamic fundamentalist group has published its own set of cartoons lampooning Moses. […] Full Story

Segulah Combat Unit Formed

A year ago, the Rosenberg family of Flatbush was at the depths of despair. Their eldest daughter Pessie had just turned 20 and didn't have a husband, let alone children. On the holiest of days, Yom Kippur, salvation, or so it seemed, arrived in the form of an envelope from a Tzedakah organization. […] Full Story

Daf Catchup Celebrates 10th Year As Excuse For Everything

Friends of 33-year-old Maimosai Korin quietly observed the 10th anniversary of his daf-catchup problem, a chronic condition that has served as an ongoing reason to excuse himself from such diverse activities as taking out the trash, helping friends move and being mekayim the mitzvah or pru u'rvu. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic Hundreds Interposition Themselves Under Yiedl Sign
  • captioned pic Yeshivishe Guy Gets His Ride Pimped
  • captioned pic Chasidish Couple Goes Off the Derech

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Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, Tannis, Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks Companion for living life in the "fast" lane.

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