Issue 20

Baked April 1, 2005

Hot Stories

God Kills the Angel of Death

Who kills the Angel of Death? God does, that’s who. […] Full Story

Psak Attack Postponed Until Slower News Week

Thousands of poskim who have swarmed off the coast of Brooklyn in recent days went back to where they came from today, postponing a long-planned psak attack until a slower news week. […] Full Story

This Year's Kosher Circus Even Frummer

Last Pesach, the frum community created a kosher circus featuring separate seating, all male performers, and kosher food, among other features. […] Full Story

Chareidim Introduce a Book Burning Mobile

One of the first books to be burned was Ishe Kisazria's, "If You Don't Bren Now, You'll Bren Later," a book about burning books. […] Full Story

Tuches Family Tired of Being Butt of Jokes

Zevulun and Ruth Tuches of Detroit have filed a civil suit against their next door neighbor Mach A. Vitz. […] Full Story

Shimshon Hagibor Implicated in Steroid Probe

Noted superhero Shimshon Hagibor has been subpoenaed to testify before a congressional committee investigating steroid use among athletes and entertainers. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic What Happens in New Square Stays in New Square
  • captioned pic Superjew Spotted Before Costume Change
  • captioned pic New Arba Koses Chumras Hard to Swallow

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Deep Quote

"So can you roll over your 18 minutes into the following week if you don't use them?" --Verizon Wireless salesman to Chabadnick

Did You Know?

Men's Tzitzis actually require laundering? Yeah, us neither.


Bush II Do you like satire? Do you like the Bible? Do you like politics? Do you like them all together at the same time? Now, for the first time ever, you can kill all three birds with one stone. Bush II, Book I is the King James Version of the first term of George W. Bush. Buy it and multitask like never before.