Issue 2

Baked July 1, 2003

Hot Stories

Siamese Twin More Religious Than Her Sister

Shifra and Golda Weinblatt are not your ordinary twins. They're Siamese. And not just ordinary Siamese, they have one body, and two heads. Besides for the host of problems that ensue that we can all possibly imagine, Shifra and Golda have a huge problem. […] Full Story

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

It was discovered last Monday that a tree has grown in Brooklyn. Amazed residents stared dumbfounded at the three-year-old sapling. Two Prospect Park Yeshiva girls discovered the North American Honey Birch (Honeyus Bircheus) on the way to school. […] Full Story

Square Eye for the Amish Guy

Something strange is happening in the Monsey village of Square Town. Tourists. From far and wide. And they're raising quite a ruckus […] Full Story

Gang Warfare in Boro Park

Gang violence once again rocked Boro Park. Saturday night fierce arguing and gang symbols broke into all-out gang warfare. Police were called down to quell the violence and four "tut tut"s were given out. […] Full Story

Yehupits Located

After years of exploring, researchers at the Cartography Institute at Cambridge University believe they have found the legendary town of Yehupits, which was considered the final frontier of Jewish exploration after places like Chelm and Yenem's Veldt were discovered. […] Full Story

Report: Jewish Obsession Linked to Jewish Genes

Researchers at the Pacific Center for Genetic Study released a statement yesterday on the discovery of a new gene. The gene is found only in Jews and is usually active throughout his or her life. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic Flatbush Man Perfects Boro-Parking Technique
  • captioned pic Lubavitcher Starts Purim WAYYYYYY Too Early
  • captioned pic Yankees Plainclothes Security Selects New Disguises

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Need secretary for Boro Park real estate office. Literacy a plus. Call (718) 555-8546.

On This Day

On May 27, 1225, Shlomie Malinowitz built the most illegal sukkah ever--and was still yotzeh l'chol hade'os!

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Bush II Do you like satire? Do you like the Bible? Do you like politics? Do you like them all together at the same time? Now, for the first time ever, you can kill all three birds with one stone. Bush II, Book I is the King James Version of the first term of George W. Bush. Buy it and multitask like never before.