Issue 18

Baked February 1, 2005

Hot Stories

Purim Postponed Due to Inclement Weather

In response to a freezing cold winter the likes of which haven’t been seen for at least a year, top Rabbis everywhere have agreed to postpone the holiday of Purim (or “Purim” as gentiles call it). […] Full Story

Surgeon General to Require Warning Labels on Cholent

The Surgeon General announced today that beginning next month, cholent will be required to carry labels warning of the long term health hazards of consumption. […] Full Story

Rabbi Proposes Belting for Belting Tunes

The Chumradika Rav has laid down the law on amateur Hebrew operatics in the shower: you may not sing. […] Full Story

PETA Exposes New Undercover Video

In the wake of the recent controversy over a kosher slaughterhouse in Iowa, PETA released a new undercover video yesterday that show even more gruesome goings-on in the kosher community. […] Full Story

Chazzan Caught Lip-Synching on SML

Cantor Binyomin Tiller of Temple Bais Conservative has been quoted as saying his voice receives "help from above." […] Full Story

Yeshiva Bochur Gets Heter to be Porn Star

Shimmy Goldblatt has a megawatt smile, killer dimples, incredible looks, a rock hard body with six-pack abs and an anatomical feature that has caused his friends to joke that the mohel didn't take off enough. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic "Learner Earner" Philosophy Invading Other Cultures
  • captioned pic New Chumra Requires Photo Proof of Shel Rosh Placement
  • captioned pic Michlalah Girl Goes Way Way Off the Derech

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Deep Quote

"It's a big segulah to give me money." --Every Shnorrer Ever

Did You Know?

Soccer was invented by a Jew trying to get his tallis bag to shul on Shabbos with a shinui.

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