Issue 13

Baked July 1, 2004

Hot Stories

Chumradika Rav Releases 2004 Summer Movie Guide

The Chumradika Rav released his eagerly anticipated summer movie guide today. […] Full Story

Paskesz Crumbles in Cookie Monster Scandal

Paskesz, the premiere purveyor of kosher baked goods, has laid off head baker, Cookie Monster, and accountant, The Count, amidst allegations of financial and culinary chicanery. […] Full Story

New Search Engine Jewgle Launches

Inspired by Google's upcoming IPO, two brothers from Brooklyn have launched a new search engine called Jewgle. […] Full Story

Cabinet Member: Dismissal "No Fair, Telling My Mommy"

Claiming that his dismissal from Ariel Sharon's cabinet was against the rules, cabinet minister Avigdor Lieberman vowed to take his case to the highest authorities. […] Full Story

Far Rockaway Woman Undergoes Snoodectomy

A Far Rockaway woman is recovering today from a snoodectomy - a controversial new surgical technique developed by top Jewish doctors at Beth Israel Medical Center and Long Island Jewish Hospital. […] Full Story

Hocker Gets Honest-to-Goodness J-O-B

In a move that stunned hockers everywhere, long time hocker Yanky Goldberg, of Flatbush, accepted a position at a Newark-based telecommunications company in their technical support department. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic Chassid Prays for Gloves
  • captioned pic Israel Institutes New Checkpoints to Find the 72 Virgins
  • captioned pic Fialkoff's Unveils New Luxury Bungalows for Summer 2004

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Knish Classifieds

Looking to sell Brooklyn shack for $2,000,000 or best offer. Serious buyers only. Call (718) 555-3475.

Deep Quote

"If you don't bren now, you'll bren later." --Your 9th grade Rebbe

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