Issue 12

Baked June 1, 2004

Hot Stories

Shabbos Goyim Go On Work Stoppage Work Stoppage

For years, the gentile population living within the Jewish community in Teaneck has provided the usual shabbos goy service with satisfaction and a smile, but recently there have been grumblings among the ranks. […] Full Story

Shabbos Robes Declared Shatnez; Men Rejoice

Jewish men everywhere are rejoicing over the Chumradika Rav's new ban. This ban comes on the heels of his successfully banning wigs for women, water for New Yorkers and Shabbos carrying for Brooklynites. […] Full Story

Health Report: Krazel Payos Syndrome

You're shteiging in the Bais Medrash, trying to ignore the tingling or numbness in your hand and wrist that's been plaguing you for months. Suddenly when drikking out a pshat, a sharp, piercing pain shoots through your wrist and up your arm. […] Full Story

Shomrim's Finest Clobber Bigfoot to Death

A band of shomrim have laid claim to slaying the legendary beast known as Bigfoot. […] Full Story

West Orange Mother Wins 2004 Kvelling Bee

It went down to the wire, but Chana Weinstein of West Orange, New Jersey pulled out a stunning upset in this year's annual Kvelling Bee. […] Full Story

Online Shul Tightens Security After Receiving Abusive Visitors

An Internet shul has been forced to tighten security after a slew of abusive visitors made letzonos and shmoozed during Hallel and Kedusha. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic "Crouching Satmar, Hidden Chasid" Premieres This Weekend
  • captioned pic PETA Protests Animal Use in Realistic Sheitel Testing
  • captioned pic New Global Eruv Draws Controversy

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Deep Quote

"Biya means living together." --Your 4th year beis medrish Rebbe

Knish Horoscope

Moznayim/Libra: Lay off the cholent, you'll be having surprise guests soon.

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