Issue 10

Baked April 1, 2004

Hot Stories

Streaker Disrupts Circus for Hasidim

The promoters of the Madison Square Garden Ringling Brothers Chol Hamoed performance expected that 18,000 Hasidim would show up for the performance. […] Full Story

Palestinian Militants Run Out of Funny Excuses for Suicide Missions

After accompanying each of their 21,000 Israel bombings with excuses ranging from the silly ("How dare you defend yourself against our attacks?") to the downright hilarious ("How dare you accuse us of sending teenagers to blow themselves up? They're ten to twelve!"), Palestinian militants have cooled off their attacks while they search for new excuses. […] Full Story

Mrs. Adler's Hechsher Removed Due to Immodest Dress on Label

In keeping with recent tightening of Kashrus standards, The Unorthodox Union has decided to remove their endorsement of Mrs. Adler's products due to her immodest clothing. […] Full Story

Tallis Injuries on the Rise

Upon release of the latest statistics from the U.S. Center for Jewish Injury Control it appears that injuries due to tallis whipping have undergone an alarming rise among Jewish newlywed males. […] Full Story

Jews Interested in Controlling Mars

Now that the Jewish controlled exploration of Mars has been proven a smashing success Jews the world over have declared interest in controlling Mars. […] Full Story

Hollywood Introduces Goy Alert System

On Thursday Harvey Weinstein announced the creation of a new alert system that will allow Hollywood to know current risk levels of goyishness at any given time. […] Full Story

Cool Photos

  • captioned pic Hasidic Research Institute Tests World's Most Boring Shiur
  • captioned pic New Chumra to Check Pets for Chametz Catches On
  • captioned pic Revealed: Charlie Chaplin Was Jewish

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