Issue 10
Baked April 1, 2004
Hot Stories
Streaker Disrupts Circus for Hasidim
The promoters of the Madison Square Garden Ringling Brothers Chol Hamoed performance expected that 18,000 Hasidim would show up for the performance. […] Full Story
Palestinian Militants Run Out of Funny Excuses for Suicide Missions
After accompanying each of their 21,000 Israel bombings with excuses ranging from the silly ("How dare you defend yourself against our attacks?") to the downright hilarious ("How dare you accuse us of sending teenagers to blow themselves up? They're ten to twelve!"), Palestinian militants have cooled off their attacks while they search for new excuses. […] Full Story
Mrs. Adler's Hechsher Removed Due to Immodest Dress on Label
In keeping with recent tightening of Kashrus standards, The Unorthodox Union has decided to remove their endorsement of Mrs. Adler's products due to her immodest clothing. […] Full Story
Tallis Injuries on the Rise
Upon release of the latest statistics from the U.S. Center for Jewish Injury Control it appears that injuries due to tallis whipping have undergone an alarming rise among Jewish newlywed males. […] Full Story
Jews Interested in Controlling Mars
Now that the Jewish controlled exploration of Mars has been proven a smashing success Jews the world over have declared interest in controlling Mars. […] Full Story
Hollywood Introduces Goy Alert System
On Thursday Harvey Weinstein announced the creation of a new alert system that will allow Hollywood to know current risk levels of goyishness at any given time. […] Full Story
Cool Photos
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Hasidic Research Institute Tests World's Most Boring Shiur
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New Chumra to Check Pets for Chametz Catches On
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Revealed: Charlie Chaplin Was Jewish
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