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Soccer was invented by a Jew trying to get his tallis bag to shul on Shabbos with a shinui.

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Azoyvee a Shvitz!

Don't Yell Challah in a Crowded Matzah Bakery!: The Book of Kosher L'Pesach Humor & Stress Relief by Mordechai Schmutter will ease those frazzled nerves before, during, and after the hectic Pesach season. Buy two copies so you can keep one Pesachdik.