A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

BROOKLYN, NY — [TheKnish.com] It was discovered last Monday that a tree has grown in Brooklyn. Amazed residents stared dumbfounded at the three-year-old sapling. Two Prospect Park Yeshiva girls discovered the North American Honey Birch (Honeyus Bircheus) on the way to school.

"At first I thought, like, it was just a tall weed," Shani Goldstein, 15, said, "then I, like, looked closer and I realized it looked kinda, like, similar to a tree." She explained they had just learned about trees in social studies class. They were learning about different aspects of other cultures.

Her classmate, and fellow discoverer, Debby Sandelberg, 15, observed, "When Mrs. Salisky spoke about these really tall plants nobody believed her. We all thought it was a joke, like if she had said that, like, all GAP stores were closing down. It was just that unbelievable!"

They called the New York City Park's Department. The whole department came down to marvel at the sight.

"Sure we've seen trees in Queens and Staten Island, but in Brooklyn?" exclaimed Richard Seer, deputy commissioner of the Park's Department. "We are petitioning that the site be declared a historical landmark." Although this is generally given to historically significant sites, he believes that City Hall will overlook that requirement for this special discovery.

Writer

Chaim Y got the ball rolling, so you owe him big. He co-founded the TheKnish.com with Martin Bodek, a day which will forever live in famy. His hobbies include gum-chewing, bubblewrap-popping, and comparing chometz horror stories. He lives in a city with people.

More articles by Chaim Y

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