Streaker Disrupts Circus for Hasidim

NEW YORK, NY — [TheKnish.com] The promoters of the Madison Square Garden Ringling Brothers Chol Hamoed performance expected that 18,000 Hasidim would show up for the performance. They anticipated that the circus would exclude females from the performance. They predicted that the crowd would bring their own non-leavened food. What they did not foresee was a streaker.

Jamie Hymowitz of the Upper West Side was arrested for indecent exposure and reckless endangerment after running across the circus floor during the high wire act. The indecent exposure charge was his intention, but not the reckless endangerment charge, which was tacked on after a high wire performer fell due to the distraction.

Ironically, most of the ultra-orthodox crowd "barely" noticed Hymowitz's antics because they were focusing on the high wire act above. Several hundred did notice though.

Chaim Isaacson of Williamsburg said "Von minute I lookink at the elephant, the next, oy vey, somebody tinking it's a mikveh!"

Mordche Breier took a more humorous approach, "So I noticing the high wire boychikels looking down, so I look to see vot they lookink et and gevalt, some yingele in his birthday suit, and it vas pretty obvious which religion he is."

Madison Square Garden apologized for the security breach and promised to use the famed Boro Park Shomrim in the future, who are renowned for their NFL-trained tackles.

Writer

Martin Bodek is short, dark, handsome, runs marathons (finishes them too!), can solve a Rubik's Cube in 1:47, is a big TED chasid, can whup your keister in Scrabble, loves Halva, co-founded TheKnish.com and wrote a book!: Bush II, Book I, which you must buy, or else we'll take another year to release another issue!

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