March 1, 2006 | Issue 25

New Site Makes Dates for Apostates

CYBERSPACE, THE INTERNET — [] This past February marked the launch of the latest in online dating sites. It's Freister - like Frumster, but for the frei community. Webmaster Cofer B. Ikkar created the site to service the rapidly growing ex-frum community. "Boutique dating sites are on the rise, because people like to date people similar to themselves," said Cofer. "Sometimes even the same gender."

The visionaries at Freister are confident that their target market is out there, since using the Internet is an important factor in becoming frei. The trick was to tailor the site to the needs of the newly frei. At signup, candidates are offered a wide variety of ex-outlooks, -affiliations, -sects, and -labels to choose from. If the list looks familiar, it should: it's Frumster's list with each choice prefixed with ex-. That's not all the "inspiration" taken from Frumster; while Frumster's tagline is, "The most successful Jewish dating-for-marriage service," Freister's is, "The most successful Jewish dating-for-mating service."

Despite the name, the site is not completely free. Freister charges to view other members' dating histories and STD test results. Also fee-based is the ability to delete the feedback entries that reveal you put out on every first date. "We allow users to set their account as no-feedback-allowed," said Cofer, "but they miss that option because they're not very observant."

In an effort to make the site more useful, Freister includes dating tips for the newly frei. A sampling:

When filling out your profile:

  • You don't have to mention whether your mother takes out the garbage in a robe or what shul your late grandfather davened in.
  • You still need to lie about your age, height, etc.
  • They already know you have a computer w/ Internet, so don't bother lying about that one.
  • Feel free to show some skin in your photo.
On dates:
  • Men, don't show up in suit and black hat. Think khakis.
  • Women, you CAN use your seat belt.
  • Men, if she asks if you have protection, she's not talking about the seat belt.
  • Women, the bulge in his pocket is not his yarmulke.
  • Men, if she's happy to hear you're taking her to the Marriott, she doesn't think you meant the lounge.
  • Women, a goodnight kiss is not third base.
Freister seems to have the market's peculiar needs well in hand. So if you're in the parsha and off the derech, you're not alone. Surf on over to Freister and get some.


Pencil Mordy Ovits did standup once. They laughed at him. They all laughed at him. You can email your laughter to him at


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