Moses Cartoons Incite Indifference

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — [TheKnish.com] Hellbent on capitalizing on the fervor generated by the 12 Danish cartoons satirizing the prophet Mohammed, an Islamic fundamentalist group has published its own set of cartoons lampooning Moses. "Death to the Jews, we saw what cartoons could do, we saw their degrading power, death to the Jews," said M'Balz Es-Hari, the group's charismatic leader. "We wanted revenge. We hoped to stir up similarly enthusiastic hatred of Judaism, but few American papers are willing to republish our controversial work."

"It's true that we have decided not to publish the cartoons," said New York Times editor Bill Keller, "But not because we believe it would be perceived as a particularly deliberate insult to Judaism. Like any decision to withhold elements of a story, this was neither easy nor entirely satisfying, but it feels like the right thing to do. Actually, in retrospect, I suppose it was also easy, considering the cartoons just weren't funny at all."

"Well they aren't that good, are they?" asked random Jew Isaac Berger, when shown the collection of satirical cartoons. "They aren't funny, nor poignant, nor even intelligent. They seem a bit forced, like one might toss together under pressure."

One cartoon depicts Moses wearing a "G-d rules!" t-shirt and drinking beer in front of a television, while his wife, wearing a prominent Star of David thinks, "But what if you're wrong?"

Another cartoon portrays Moses coming down from Mount Sinai with light protruding from his forehead. He is winking while saying "Do I make you horny baby?" to the Jewish people.

Perhaps the most inflammatory cartoon portrays Moses thinking G-d's voice is actually in his head.

"They're funny in a stupid sort of way," commented Shmuley Schluss, the next random Jew shown the cartoons. "I like the voices-in-my-head angle. You can't lose with that. But inflammatory? Insulting? Yeah, I'm thinkin' not." Jews and Christians alike responded almost universally that the cartoons were not likely to cause discussion, much less rioting, destruction of property, or loss of life. Certainly it would not cause any laughter.

"Failing doesn't mean it wasn't worth trying," commented Es-Hari. "It's just hard to imagine walking around through life with nothing to be offended by. What kind of life is that?"

Writer

Martin Bodek is short, dark, handsome, run marathons (finishes them too!), can solve a Rubik's Cube in 1:47, is a big TED chasid, can whup your keister in Scrabble, loves Halva, and co-founded TheKnish.com.

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