Modern Orthodox Union: New Atkins Symbol Looks Too Much Like Hechsher

MONROE, NY — [TheKnish.com] According to the Mordern Orthodox Union the new "Atkins" symbol is creating mass confusion with shoppers revving up for Pesach.

Across the board shoppers are regarding the new symbol - a large red capital "A" - quite differently. According to a recent survey 53% of shoppers think it's a new hechsher that stands for "acceptable," 31% percent think the "OK" has changed to "A-Ok," 12% think the OU is trying to monopolize the rest of the vowels for its personal use and 4% can't figure out how the farkakte chads work.

Rav Reuven Atkins explains the need for the new symbol. "Carbs are chazer treif as you know. We needed to make sure no Jew, heaven forbid, would partake of this forbidden food, so we made the symbol bold and clear. Hopefully the confusion will soon stop and people will understand exactly for what the symbol stands."

Critics disagree, as a new Gallup poll reveals the possible confusions that may occur: 49% believe more secular Jews would confuse the symbol with the famed "Scarlet Letter" of literature, 32% believe that consumers would feel that Sesame Street has brought the candy bar to you by the letter A, 11% believe that noshers would believe it's a grade the nosh received and 8% accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan.

Writer

Martin Bodek is short, dark, handsome, run marathons (finishes them too!), can solve a Rubik's Cube in 1:47, is a big TED chasid, can whup your keister in Scrabble, loves Halva, and co-founded TheKnish.com.

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