March 1, 2004 | Issue 9

Mel Brooks Directing "The Passion of the Christ II: Mel Gibson's a Meshuganeh"

JEWISH CONTROLLED HOLLYWOOD, CA — [TheKnish.com] Judging from the dailies being released to critics, Mel Brooks' new movie promises to be the funniest of his work since his classic "Blazing Saddles."

"The Passion of the Christ II: Mel Gibson's a Meshuganeh" follows Mel Gibson around the country on his madcap slapstick adventures as he tries to convince the world that he isn't an anti-semite, despite:

1) Having an extremely close relative (his father, Haman Gibson) who's an outspoken, virulent, raging, Holocaust-denying Hitler tushykisser.

2) The oddity that Jesus is the only Jew in the original "Passion" movie who doesn't have a crooked nose and isn't terribly ugly.

3) The fact that Pontius Pilate crucified thousands of Jews for his daily merriment, but suddenly when it's Jesus' turn, he has second thoughts until the Jews convince him. The crackerjack screenplay written by Oscar winner Leo Thesieg reveals this scene in its most utter hilarity:

Pontius: Kill the Jews!
Executioners: All of them?
Pontius: All of them!
Executioners: Even this one?
Pontius: What's with him?
Executioners: He walks on water and is extremely good-looking.
Pontius: God-looking, did you say?
Executioners: Haha! No, GOOD-looking.
Pontius: Um, ok, we'll save him.
Jews: Kill him too!
Pontius: Um, ok, let's kill him.
Executioners: Okeydokey, but can we kill him in superslowmo?
Pontius: Sure, that'll be great.

The movie looks like a sure winner. Other hilarious scenes include how Mel Gibson tries to get an endorsement from the Pope and interprets his Polish mumblings to mean "It is as it was" when in reality the Pope said, "Hey Sonny, how come I got this yarmulka on my head? I'm not Jewish."

The screenplay crackles with snappy dialogue including this exchange between Mel Gibson and his father, Haman:

Haman: Kill the Jews!
Mel: Boy daddy, you've got a huge cross to bear, don't you?
Haman: Son, you nailed it.

"P2" will be released on July 18th in 2,453 theaters and will make 217.5 million dollars in its thirteen week run. These facts are known beforehand because the movie is made by Jews who control all Hollywood and media.

Writer

Pencil Martin Bodek is short, dark, handsome, runs marathons (finishes them too!), can solve a Rubik's Cube in 1:47, is a big TED chasid, can whup your keister in Scrabble, loves halva, co-founded TheKnish.com, and writes books from 5-9: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/mbodekatgmaildotcom


0 Comments

Commenting is disabled

search Search The Knish:


tool Article tools:

Print this article Print this article
Email this article Email this article
More by Martin Bodek More by Martin Bodek

cloud1

Also In Issue 9

Random Stories

cloud2

Knish Personals

Bais Yaakov submissive looking for 40+ heimish dominant. Beard a plus. Call (718) 555-6492.

On This Day

On March 26, 1539, Shlomie Malinowitz built the most illegal sukkah ever--and was still yotzeh l'chol hade'os!

cloud3

Bush II Do you like satire? Do you like the Bible? Do you like politics? Do you like them all together at the same time? Now, for the first time ever, you can kill all three birds with one stone. Bush II, Book I is the King James Version of the first term of George W. Bush. Buy it and multitask like never before.