January 1, 2004 | Issue 8

Kid Rock Poncho Required Tzitzis: Beis Din

article pic HOUSTON, TEXAS — [TheKnish.com] A Beis Din in Houston reviewed a taping of this year's Super Bowl in search of violations of biblical commandments. Several were found, but the most glaring of all was Kid Rock's American flag poncho, which the Beis Din declared required tzitzis because it was a four-cornered garment.

"As you can clearly see on the tape, not only does the beged not have tzitzis, but he's traveling more than four amos as he dances and prances onstage," said Avsholom Mivorach, head of the Houston Beis Din.

A Kid Rock spokesman replied by stating that it was half-time, which was way after shkiah, hence Kid Rock wasn't michuyiv to wear tzitzis.

Mr. Mivorach countered by stating that it's generally accepted to wear tzitzis, whether it's night or day.

The Kid Rock spokesman said, "The Beis Din should be pleased that Kid Rock was covering his head out of respect for the Jews in the stands. Kid Rock is not so frum, so he's not aware of all the Tzitzis halachos, but he promises to look into it."

Having laid the Kid Rock tzitzis matter to rest, the Beis Din focused on paskining other matters, such as whether Justin Timberlake turned Janet Jackson into a zonah when it’s possible she was already a zonah beforehand and if the thousands of Jews who used TiVo to replay the znus were oiver "V'loi sasuru".

Writer

Pencil Martin Bodek is short, dark, handsome, runs marathons (finishes them too!), can solve a Rubik's Cube in 1:47, is a big TED chasid, can whup your keister in Scrabble, loves halva, co-founded TheKnish.com, and writes books from 5-9: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/mbodekatgmaildotcom


0 Comments

Commenting is disabled

search Search The Knish:


tool Article tools:

Print this article Print this article
Email this article Email this article
More by Martin Bodek More by Martin Bodek

cloud1

Also In Issue 8

Random Stories

cloud2

Deep Quote

"That doesn't look right." --Your mohel

Knish Horoscope

Gdi/Capricorn: A shidduch is in your future. Not your shidduch, though.

cloud3

Bush II Do you like satire? Do you like the Bible? Do you like politics? Do you like them all together at the same time? Now, for the first time ever, you can kill all three birds with one stone. Bush II, Book I is the King James Version of the first term of George W. Bush. Buy it and multitask like never before.