April 1, 2004 | Issue 10

Jews Interested in Controlling Mars

NEW MARS CITY, NEW MARS — [TheKnish.com] Now that the Jewish controlled exploration of Mars has been proven a smashing success Jews the world over have declared interest in controlling Mars.

"We've done a bangup job here on earth," says Bagelson Lox, who controls the weather on Earth, "But we'd like to see what else we can do on other planets."

Other Jews second the notion. Matt Soball, who controls the Internet, says, "Gaining control of the moon was our last extraterrestrial takeover, as was controlling tides. That was fun, but Mars seems like a great venture for us."

Another more controversial proposal has come forth in the wake of Jewish interest in Mars. Gefil Tefish, head of Jewish Control, Inc., proposes that Jews give up control of Earth to focus on control and development of Mars, but he has few followers because Jews don't intend to relinquish control of Earth in the foreseeable future.

Writer

Pencil Martin Bodek is short, dark, handsome, runs marathons (finishes them too!), can solve a Rubik's Cube in 1:47, is a big TED chasid, can whup your keister in Scrabble, loves halva, co-founded TheKnish.com, and writes books from 5-9: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/mbodekatgmaildotcom


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