December 1, 2007 | Issue 28

"Baruch Hashem" Usage at Epidemic Levels, Baruch Hashem

article pic BROOKLYN, NEW YORK — [TheKnish.com] Pyschologists and rabbinic leaders are warning about the prevalence of Honorifics and Frum Idiom Confusion Syndrome in the Jewish community, bli ayin hara.

Over the past several years the number of honorifics and superstitous idioms added to the frum vocabulary has been increasing exponentially, k'niyna hara. This has caused some confusion to occur, baruch Hashem, especially to those with more simple minds, kein yirbu.

Typically the syndrome starts with overuse of the terms, b'chasdei Hashem, then quickly turns to usage of the terms in the completely wrong place, shlita. In more advanced cases, nisht auf Shabbos geret, idioms foreign to the frum world, l'havdil elef havdalos, are used as well, praise the L-rd.

In addition to the number of such terms, zy gezunt, the prevalence of usage of such terms has increased exponentially as well, yasher koach. For example, 20 years ago, mamesh, the term "baruch Hashem", was limited to a portion of Maariv that most people did not say, gezundheit. Today it constitutes 23% of a typical frum male's spoken word and 27% of a typical frum female's, im yirtzeh Hashem by you. It has been added to most kosher menus, thank you - come again, and has replaced "all of the above" on standardized tests given to yeshiva bochrim, lo aleinu.

Family and friends of those afflicted with this disease, chas v'shalom, are advised to use caution when asking simple questions such as "How are you?" This may cause the afflicted person, zt"l, to reply with a stream of unrelated frum idioms that usually have nothing to do with how they are doing, may Allah strike you down with the strength of 1000 elephants. The best option, in the opinion of the professionals, Hashem yinakem damam, is to stick a tehillim in front of them, ad meah v'esrim. This should keep their mouths busy until such time as a permanent cure is found.

Writer

Pencil David Friedman used to play with the margins to make his articles longer. This is more fun.


18 Comments

comment Moishe Berl said...

Baruch Hashem, somebody realized the power of the spoken word.

February 2, 2008 at 5:53 p.m.

comment Berly Moish said...

And YOU just learned the power of the written word!

February 3, 2008 at 12:10 a.m.

comment Yochanan said...

"may Allah strike you down with the strength of 1000 elephants"

I've heard it as: May you be cursed with the fleas of a 1000 camels.

February 3, 2008 at 9:13 a.m.

comment Martin Bodek said...

Moishe: Boruch Hashem.
Berly: Boruch Hashem!
Yochanan: Boruch Hashem?

February 5, 2008 at 8:17 p.m.

comment Rachel said...

This article was mamish gevaldik! I had a soch hano'ah from reading every work, nisht unsgedacht!

February 10, 2008 at 2:53 a.m.

comment Martin Bodek said...

Takeh epes gradeh! Pinkt azoi!

February 12, 2008 at 6:20 p.m.

comment s said...

lol soo good

February 15, 2008 at 7:37 a.m.

comment Martin Bodek said...

The author would thank you, but he's camera shy right now, so I'll do it for him: Thanks!

February 18, 2008 at 1:57 a.m.

comment David Friedman said...

Thank you!

March 13, 2008 at 1:53 p.m.

comment Avi said...

Huh? I don't get it!

March 18, 2008 at 6:54 p.m.

comment Martin Bodek said...

What's not to get?

March 20, 2008 at 6:25 p.m.

comment Ofra said...

The fleas on a 1,000 camels curse has been incorrectly quoted. The actual curse is "May your mother's armpits be infested with a 1,000 camels"

Gut shabbos!

May 2, 2008 at 1:05 p.m.

comment Martin Bodek said...

We correct standed. :-)

May 15, 2008 at 6:22 p.m.

comment Vic E said...

the curse is "May your mother's armpits be infested with the fleas of a 1,000 camels"

September 7, 2008 at 1:10 a.m.

comment shmagegy said...

oif alle goim gezugt!

September 9, 2008 at 9:23 p.m.

comment Martin Bodek said...

Ooh-mine! :-)

September 15, 2008 at 7:56 p.m.

comment teirahn said...

mamesh pinkt the frumme matziv

October 19, 2008 at 2:10 p.m.

comment Martin Bodek said...

Hust gezookt emes v'yatziv!

October 23, 2008 at 5:24 p.m.

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