Ahmadinejad Awarded Special Title: Yemach Shemo
MONSEY, NEW YORK — [TheKnish.com] The Moetzet Ketanei Torah, a board of pan-Orthodox Rabbis in the US, voted today to bestow the coveted title of "Yemach Shemo" upon Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Yemach Shemo. "The vote was unanimous," said Rabbi Moshe Kleinepsher, the board's secretary. "It is a testament to the strength of Ahmadinejad Yemach Shemo's convictions that made this vote go so smoothly!" Ahmadinejad has some very illustrious company in his newly bestowed honor. Only two others in the past 100 years have been universally given this title - Hitler Yemach Shemo was the first, followed more recently by Yasser Arafat Yemach Shemo. Others have come close, for example, Adolf Eichmann was given the title of "feh, ptooy" that required one to spit after repeating his name.
As a result of the new title, all Jews by law are now required to add this title to Ahmadinejad Yemach Shemo's name whenever they write it, say it, or even refer to him without saying his proper name. While this title will be by and large ignored by the secular world, it will creep its way into world history and current events classes at Jewish day schools around the country.
While this new "honor" seems to be almost universally accepted, there are a select few Jewish groups holding out. Rabbi Yitzchok Dov Schvartz, president, of CHasidim UNited against Israel as a Country (CHUNIAC, for short), has disagreed with the Moetzet, as he feels Ahmadinejad shouldn't be awarded the title. "After all that he has done for the Jewish People, this is not a title we should be giving him," said Schvartz. Schvartz, himself a universal recipient of the title "feh, ptooy", and "Yemach Shemo" from some, is reputed to have a special personal relationship with Ahadinejad after news reports showed the two embracing in Tehran. Rumor has it that when the Iranian Leader Yemach Shemo appeared at Columbia University he gave an implicit acknowledgment of that relationship when he said that, "There are no gays in Tehran" - implying that there are some here in New York. Spokesmen for CHUNIAC denied these allegations, but did confirm that Schvartz granted Ahmadinejad Yemach Shemo a "private audience" while he was in New York. The rumored relationship has also sparked a popular Youtube Video!
TheKnish.com contacted the Iranian Embassy to gauge their reaction. Embassy spokesman Mainame Isherdtozay, said: "President Ahmadinejad Yemach Shemo is pleased to see that the Jewish Community is finally giving him the respect that he deserves."
Yonah Wolf might be in hiding after writing this article, but you can find him on the web at http://www.paymykidstuition.com/.
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